A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying."

The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else." The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?the 

  dog answers with a muffled "RUD." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door.

As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says, "Ronaldinh?finish

Announce = To make known publicly

Bartender = It means have sex in the story

Muffle = A structure to put animals inside.

Sidewalk = Force other person to have sex with

افعال کمکی (معین)

افعال کمکی یا معین (auxiliary verbs) معمولاً قبل از یک فعل دیگر (فعل اصلی) در جمله قرار می‌گیرند و کارشان کمک به فعل اصلی جمله در تشکیل عبارات فعلی می‌باشد.

افعال کمکی را می‌توان به دو دسته تقسیم نمود:

ویژگیهای افعال کمکی......

KIND DADY

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

WHAT TIME IS IT 

A tramp lie down and sleep in the park. He had been sleeping for about 5 minutes when a couple walked by. The man stopped, woke the tramp up , and asked him, "Excuse me. Do you know what the time is?" The tramp replied, "I'm sorry - I don't have a watch, so I don't know the time." The man apologised for waking the tramp and the couple walked away. The tramp lay down again, and after a few minutes went back to sleep. Just then, a woman, who was out walking her dog, shook the tramp's shoulder until he woke up again.

The woman said, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'm afraid I've lost my watch - do you happen to know the time?" The tramp was a little annoyed at being woken up again, but he  politely told the woman that he didn't have a watch and didn't know the time.

After the woman had gone, the tramp had an idea.

He opened the bag that contained all his  possessions and got out a pen, a piece of paper and some string. On the paper, he wrote down, 'I do not have a watch. I do not know the time'.

He then hung the paper round his neck and eventually dropped off again.

After about 15 minutes, a policeman who was walking through the park noticed the tramp asleep on the bench, and the sign around his neck.

He woke the tramp up and said, "I read your sign. I thought you'd like to know that it's 2:30 p.m."

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When you are a caller

-- Hello?
-- Is that John?
-- Can I speak to John?
-- May I speak to John?

When you are a receiver

-- This is John speaking, who's that?
-- Who's speaking please?
-- Who's calling please?

When you ask the caller to wait

-- One moment please.
-- Just a minute please.
-- Hold on please.
-- Hang on please

When you ask the caller to leave messages

-- Can you leave the message?
-- Can I take your message?
-- Would you like to leave a message?
-- Would you like him/her to call you back?

When calling the wrong number

-- I'm afraid you got the wrong number
-- Sorry, I think you reach the wrong number

When asking the receiver to transfer the line

-- Can I have extension 1234 please?
-- Could you please transfer the line to Mr. John please?

When finish talking

-- Nice talking to you
-- Talk to you later

Mr.Bean Science
.
I was stuck in ELEVATOR for 3 hrs
Due to electric failure
Mr.Bean:
Ya me too
I was stuck on ESCALATOR for 5 hrs

جک مستربین
از زمانی که برق رفت من تو آسانسور 3 ساعت گیرکردم.
.
مستربین:
من هم همین طور!!
من 5 ساعت رو پله برقی گیرکردم.
 

اینم شعرهایی که دوستم درست کرده گذاشتم برای شما و امیدوارم خوشتون بیاد. 

  Look at the qaran and know the prophet was how

 Like ,so know that you be like him.read your prays

 On your time.The prophet was a good man.He

 Prays for God every time,he love the Allah and the

 Allah too.The lastest prophet in the world was he.

 At the age of twenty five he married.And at the age

 Of sixty three he be died. But in the that time I was

 not there,that I know what`s the matter

Why are you don`t attend the time,the time go and

 Go and don`t return.So go and break the time

 Clock.And the works that we do,and we gone to

 Zoo.Do you know that time is money,but it`s

 Correct when we tell it`s funny.We don`t know

 That the time is very main,we survive our life with

 Time .The time is so expensive but we spend it, we

 Don`t know anything about it.

Yeah  i`m  like boy that go to everywhere , i`m  like

 The one ant that never stop. play with one people

 and no one else. My eyes is groggy and my eyebrow

 is black,and my neck is thin.i`m like the one duck

 that  swim in sea. My stomach is normal and my

 arm is small ,but my hair is so much, and all was a

 such  , never mind I play with you, now I continue

 the subject with you.My ankle is  hard and my toes

 are  soft ,my ears are little and my elbow is big,my

 .head  is  big  too , and  my  face  is  shy

A man is known by the company he keeps
بگو دوستت کیه تا بگم کی هستی

Too many cooks spoil the broth
آشپز که دو تا شد آش یا شور میشود یا بی نمک

from the cradle to grave
ز گهواره تا گور دانش بجوی

easy come, easy go
باد آورده را باد می برد

no news is good news
بی خبری خوش خبری ست

third time lucky
تا سه نشه بازی نشه

every cloud has a silver lining
در نا امیدی بسی امید است

a liar ought to have a good memory
دروغگو کم حافظه است

outstay ones welcome
کنگر خوردن و لنگر انداختن

nothing ventured, nothing gained
نابرده رنج گنج میسر نمیشود

business is business
حساب حساب است کاکا برادر

practice makes perfect
کار نیکو کردن از پر کردن است

The cat dreams of mice
شتر در خواب بیند پنبه دانه

(tell) a cock and bull story
قصه حسین کرد شبستری گفتن

smell fishy
کاسه ای زیر نیم کاسه است

Horses for courses
هر کسی را بهر کاری ساخته اند

A big head has a big ache
هر که بامش بیش برفش بیشتر

Go with the ride
هم رنگ جماعت شدن

East, West, homes best
هیچ کجا خانه خود آدم نمیشود

Tells tales
یک کلاغ چهل کلاغ کردن

Hit the jackpot
یک شب پول دار شدن
 

1
A: So how did you like the restaurant?
B: Actually, it could have been better.
A: What didn't you like about it?
B: It is a new restaurant. I don't think they have their act together yet.
A: What did you think about the food?
B: I felt that the food was pretty mediocre.
A: The service wasn't that great, either.
B: I agree. The service was not good.
A: Do you think that you want to try this restaurant another time?
B: No, I think that I've had enough of this restaurant.

2
A: Did you enjoy the restaurant?
B: I didn't really like it all that much.
A: What do you think the problem was?
B: Well, they are pretty new. I just didn't feel that they were ready to open yet.
A: How did you feel about the food?
B: The food wasn't all that exciting.
A: I didn't think that the service was good, either.
B: Yes, the service certainly didn't add to the experience.
A: Would you like to return to this restaurant?
B: Maybe we could try it again in a few months when things have settled down.

3
A: How do you feel about that restaurant?
B: It wasn't all that great.
A: What did you dislike the most?
B: I don't think that they had their act together. They didn't seem well prepared.
A: Did you think that the food was any good?
B: I wasn't all that impressed by the food.
A: The service certainly could have been better.
B: The service did not help the situation.
A: Is this a restaurant that you want to come back to?
B: I am not really interested in trying this restaurant again.

الفبای انگلیسی

جمعا 26 (بیست و شش) حرف است که به دو دسته تقسیم می شوند :

حروف بزرگ = Capital letters

بهتر است دانش آموزان ابتدا صداهای حروف را یاد بگیرند تا پس از تشخیص صداها بتوانند به آسانی لغات را فرا گیرند در این قسمت سعی شده حداقل صداهای مورد نیاز برای سطح مبتدی آورده شود.

صدا در انگلیسی
هر کدام از الفبای انگلیسی دارای یک یا چند صدا هستند که به ترتیب به ذکر آنها می پردازیم. صدای هر حرف را پس از تکرار حفظ کرده و معنای آنها را به خاطر بسپارید.